Hiya, Reader! Why not kick off the new year with a rant, some terrible health advice, and some luminous fragments of magic? Thanks to Adeline Dimond for the inspiration.

What’s Out Like In-Laws Who’ve Way Overstayed Their Welcome

The News

Because they’re all lying liar faces, and I’m exhausted trying to get to what’s real, so f*ck it, blissful ignorance it is.

Social Media

Nothing would make me happier than a mass exodus off the platforms because social media is soul-sucking mind control that leads to a shallow existence. Ask me how I really feel.

Social media is called mental fast food for a reason, and the term applies universally. Except for Substack, which, like In-N-Out, is perfectly acceptable for regular consumption.

The Word “Actionable”

This is doublespeak at its finest and a fave of my corporate clients. Aren’t all tips “actionable?” The definition of actionable is “able to be acted on; having practical value.” If you’re giving out advice that can’t be acted on or is worthless, you need a different job.

Actionable, therefore, is not a unique selling point for something that helps people take action. That’s like saying your tips are better because they’re helpful.

Saying, “She Looks Great For Her Age”

This is a message to myself.

I’m gratuitous with compliments, but this caveat falls out of my mouth more often than I’d like. I managed to swallow it recently when talking about Sandra Bullock—she looks great PERIOD—but my brain wouldn’t let it go until I fell down a rabbit hole about baby foreskin facials, and now I can’t unlearn that.

Mid-40s wisdom has taught me that life is about being beautiful and not believing it until it becomes about wondering when everybody got so obsessed with beauty—also known as WHY CAN’T I JUST GET WRINKLY IN PEACE, PEOPLE?!!!!!

It seems the categories of aging women are as follows:

• Older women who don’t look like sea hags. These women must be remarked upon because women are supposed to turn into sea hags. Rare anomalies such as these must be celebrated with a backhanded compliment. For her age.
• Older women who want to avoid looking like sea hags and thus have expensive work done. These women must be called out for said work. We remember what they used to look like, so our brains see an AI version of them now, making it necessary to caveat compliments with, But she’s obviously had some work done.
• Sea hags.

No matter what camp you’re in, it’s a zero-sum game. The last category comes with the power of invisibility, so it seems the most appealing.

And so long as we’re on our soapboxes saying F*Ck tHe pAtriARchY, let’s stop calling people “brave” for aging naturally. How is it brave to do what nature intended? Let’s also allow “beautiful” to apply to women who glow with an aura of comfortability in their own skin, even as they rock silver hair and crow’s feet. Let’s use it to mean “proudly makes her voice heard,” “is kind of a badass,” or “exudes compassion and kindness,” even if—especially if—she is a glorious, cauldron-stirring, no f*cks-giving sea hag.

What’s Hotter than Hot Frosty When He Was in Schitt’s Creek and Actually Hot

All the Cheese

Circumstances beyond my control stole gluten, alcohol and coffee from my life. If you want my cheese, you’re gonna have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Red Lips and Shoulder-Skimming Earrings

Because no one said we women of a certain age have to take this whole becoming invisible thing lying down. Thanks to this author for illuminating romantic #LifeGoals I didn’t know I had, I am now entering my Sugar Dame era. And red lips and bling will be a central component.

BYOP: Bringing Your Own Party

My last few birthdays have been depressing. My best friend is in a serious relationship and is less and less available. I never intended to live where I live long-term and have, therefore, put zero effort into making friends. And starting from scratch is hard in your 40s, especially when hanging solo at a bar is no longer your jam. As a result, I’ve spent a few major holidays snuggling with my cat, promising myself it isn’t pathetic at all.

When my 2024 NYE plans got canceled at the last minute, I decided this was the year I would bring my own party. I often say I can have fun inside a paper bag or in Bakersfield, so why not just plan the most fun event/night/excursion I can think of? If someone else shows up, it’s gravy.

What does this look like in practice?

On New Year’s Eve, it looked like watching Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour in my PJs, noshing on smoked salmon dip, buffalo cauliflower with homemade ranch and deviled eggs. For my birthday, it looks like renting a cabin at the lake for a week, morning paddleboarding and picking sun-warmed raspberries for breakfast.

The best part?

I won’t disappoint myself, so bad birthdays/St. Patrick’s Days/NYEs are now a thing of the past.

Conservation

What if we all chose one thing we’ve never done before and did it as a thank-you to the planet?

Did you know that composting isn’t optional; it’s necessary to keep the planet from literally incinerating itself? I didn’t either! Consider starting a compost bin. Or subscribe to Kathryn Kellogg’s excellent newsletter about sustainable living. Or unplug your appliances when you’re not using them. Or buy (and properly dispose of) these compostable toothbrushes. It is batshit to think we wouldn’t all perform some small act to give back to the natural world that supports us.

Collecting Magic

If something feels magical to me in 2025, I will collect it. I already have a file called “Beautiful Words,” and I add things that spark joy to it, like fireflies to a jar. It’s a veritable scrapbook of creations other humans have birthed that make my soul sing.

Since joining Substack (which you're gonna hear me talk about a lot this year), I have collected these luminous fragments. Perhaps they will inspire you to go treasure hunting, too.

​"we too are like the flowers, sensational and doomed”​

​“…Every writer will tell you this. We are a strange lot, and I love us for doing what we do. It’s hard. And most of us do it against all odds. Against the grain. Against the current which is the river that runs through all of us, dragging us away from the very thing we were born dying to do, would die without, and would rather subject ourselves to scrubbing a toilet bowl instead of surrendering to.”​

​“I found my two-year-old niece before the wide full-length mirror in the foyer, mouth pressed into a thin line. She tilted her head. Her glass doppelgänger followed suit. Two small hands touched high half ponytails, dropped to shoulders poking out from yellow cotton dresses. Then, like helium balloons let loose, serious expressions lifted. “I like that,” my niece said softly, the pair reaching out to touch fingertips.”​

Remember, my pretties, when it comes to 2025, whoever has the most fun wins.

So, what will you be burning down this year? And what will you fight to the death for like I will fight for cheese? Hit reply and let me know.

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Do you feel this in your bones? 😴 I've been in conversation with other creators about this, and we all agree: we either suck at resting or actively resist it, and it's no secret the world isn't built with this endgame in mind. The best contribution I've seen so far is: Rest is resistance! I'd love to know how you're resisting hustle culture this year and what practices you're implementing to slow down and do more meaningful work. Your comments might make it into a future post on this topic!