I have no chill, Reader.

I fall in love with a new person, place or thing at least three times a week. Often, that looks like loudly declaring my undying devotion to someone’s product. I’m looking at you, kombucha slurpee lady from the farmer’s market. You are a magician 😍

Last year, at a wine festival I attend religiously every spring, one of the chefs introduced me to a coworker as “his stalker.” That’s the day I learned I was extra. (Also, Steve, that’s not a very nice way to talk about the person responsible for all your INCREDIBLE WORD OF MOUTH. I would like to be immediately compensated for my not insignificant efforts… in smoked olives. Ahem.)

Sometimes, though, my adoration is off the rails. Nothing to see here, folks, just me with heart eyes, doodling my new married name all over my Trapper Keeper.

Case in point: This week, I needed to hire a plumber… and now I want to have all of his babies. Stay with me now, because the reason I want to have all of his babies (besides just being unhinged) has everything to do with you.

My new boyfriend, Wesley, is about to teach you (via me, cos I’m the writer in this relationship) how to make the kind of first impression that makes everyone you encounter want to have all of YOUR babies.

Because eliciting this kind of reaction from strangers is incredibly good for business.

🐰🕳️ Click here for the steamy tale of customer service done right​

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The Abundance Hack Capitalism Wants to Keep Top-Secret If your brain equates rest with laziness and productivity with worthiness, this one’s for you. In this piece, I unpack the sneaky ways capitalism wires us for burnout—and the simple, subversive mindset shift that cracked abundance wide open for me. ​ Read the story

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