My best friend and I were talking recently about the days when, as bartenders, our schedule consisted of working, after-shift drinking and sleeping on repeat. Often, I would come to work on a Monday and a regular would ask, “What’d you get up to this weekend?” And I would pause and think: Huh, what DID I do this weekend? before stumbling through a mostly fabricated response to hide my drinking-related memory loss. My bestie had the same experience. We both mulled that over for a minute or...
13 days ago • 2 min read
Reader, have you ever noticed how you can go your whole life not seeing a particular car model—and then the minute you decide you want to buy it, it’s everywhere? Like, suddenly every street corner and freeway stretch is crawling with Volkswagen EOSs, and you’re wondering if they were all just wearing invisibility cloaks until now. So what gives? (Besides magick, obvi.) It’s neuroscience. Those cars were always there. But your conscious mind has to filter through 11 million bits of...
19 days ago • 1 min read
If you consider yourself a “doer,” Reader, who is always racing the clock, you might think the answer to all your problems is optimization. Life hacks. A time management system so effective it will finally let you do it all. I’ve both bought into and sold the idea that you can do every little thing your heart desires if only you organize, streamline and discipline yourself enough. The problem with optimization, however, is that the more time you manage to free up, the longer the list gets of...
4 months ago • 2 min read
A few years ago, my best friend moved to California’s Central Valley, to a rural neighborhood where three farms intersect. One of the neighbors has a rooster named Beethoven. It seems Beethoven was not there the day God handed out operating instructions. He definitely doesn't understand the assignment. In Beethoven's case, the rooster does not crow at midnight OR at dawn, which are the only two times a day a rooster is legally allowed to crow. Beethoven’s preferred business hours are any time...
7 months ago • 2 min read
I have to start taking care of myself before I burst into flames. I recently posted a note about how it feels impossible to function right now as an empath, and that 👆🏼👆🏼 was one of the comments I received. It’s how I knew I needed to write this article. This is not a post about politics. I write about designing a life and business you’re excited to wake up to every day. But it’s also not NOT about politics. Because I wouldn’t be writing this if we weren’t living in a chaotic stew of whirling...
8 months ago • 2 min read
Dearest Reader, Every morning, my cat, Hecate, and I engage in what can only be called aggressive petting. I whip out a brush that sprays mist (who would’ve ever thought a cat would ASK for this?), and she basically shouts at me the entire time she runs to and leaps upon the topmost shelf of her kitty condo. Whereupon she spends the next three minutes flopping about like a blissful walrus, chattering constantly, arrrrrrrching into the brush strokes and bonking the device so vigorously she...
8 months ago • 1 min read
Hiya, Reader! Why not kick off the new year with a rant, some terrible health advice, and some luminous fragments of magic? Thanks to Adeline Dimond for the inspiration. What’s Out Like In-Laws Who’ve Way Overstayed Their Welcome The News Because they’re all lying liar faces, and I’m exhausted trying to get to what’s real, so f*ck it, blissful ignorance it is. Social Media Nothing would make me happier than a mass exodus off the platforms because social media is soul-sucking mind control that...
10 months ago • 5 min read
The other day, my dentist told me that while most people need to get their teeth cleaned every six months, I’m so good at brushing that I can go an entire year. I felt like the teacher's pet with a shiny gold star, but at the same time, I left the office certain she says that to all her patients. It wasn't until later, when someone commented, "Whoa, you have an honest dentist," that I realized, Hey, wait. Of course she doesn't just go around telling people they ought to go to the dentist...
11 months ago • 2 min read
My dad had a saying I’ll never forget. You’re not a total f*ck up if you serve as a bad example for someone else. It has comforted me many times as I’ve stood looking down the barrel of yet another #PoorLifeChoice. I’m not a trainwreck; I’m a philanthropist. Who knew all it took was 45 years of doing everything wrong to turn me into a wise old sage? I’ve self-sabotaged, chased dreams that didn’t belong to me, gotten swindled by charlatans and followed advice I hated “because he had a nice...
11 months ago • 2 min read